Quote Anything

[19720]

I piss excellence!

[MetalBrent]

When God made the ass, he didn't say, 'Hey, it's just your basic hinge, let's knock off early.' He said, 'Behold ye angels, I have created the ass. Throughout the ages to come, men and women shall grab hold of these, and shout my name!

[Kid Lester]

Ellen Griswold: I honestly don't think we're going to find the Grand Canyon on this road.
Clark: Jesus, it's only the biggest God-damn hole in the world.
Aunt Edna: Clark, watch your language!
Clark: Make that the second biggest.

[frogman68]

Well if you can't make it stay hard, stay hungry, stay alive if you can

[19720]

I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles. You'll be whistling ZipADeeDooDah out of you're assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!

[Kid Lester]

Pardon me, um, Homes. Can you give me directions back to the interstate?

F*#! Yo Mama!

[Panama Girl]

It all sounds like some bad movie...

[19720]

Roll Em Up!

[ss0847]

Posted via Mobile Device


me: excuse me where's the aqua sun
man: sorry dude im not an elkbilly im from delaware
me: hey! me too!
man: we better keep quiet before we get shot

[motherof3]

I have multiple personalities and none of them like you.

[19720]

Pizza..... I LIKE IT!

[19720]

Gimme a Diablo sammich and a Dr pepper to go little lady...
and make it quick...
I'm in a gottdamned hurry....
I'm in hot pursuit....

[RosaM68]

"You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain"

[M.Bush]

Connor, Murphy, Il Duce: And shepherds we shall be, for Thee, my Lord, for Thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to Thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be.
Il Duce: In nomine Patri.
Connor: Et Fili.
Murphy: Spiritus Sancti.

************************************************** *********

Il Duce: When I raise my flashing sword, and my hand takes hold on judgment, I will take vengeance upon mine enemies, and I will repay those who haze me. Oh, Lord, raise me to Thy right hand and count me among Thy saints.

[MetalBrent]

"I'm gonna break your nose with my @ss" - Atlantic City stripper on my bachelor party

[M.Bush]

Woman: [holding a grocery bag] What are you doing?
Frank: You tell anyone about this and I'll fucking kill you. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, we'll have him home by midnight.
[reaches into the grocery bag and takes out cheese balls]

************************************************** *********

Frank: I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight. Besides, I got a big day tomorrow. You guys have a great time.
College Student: A big day? Doing what?
Frank: Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.

[Kid Lester]

Okay. When I nod my head, you hit it.

[M.Bush]

Peppers: She's a beauty, ain't she?
Frank: Yeah, what kind of gun is this?
Peppers: It's a tranquilizer gun. If any of these little fuckers decide to freak out on the kids, I get to take them down. Ain't that right?
Peppers: [yank's on the mule's reigns]
Peppers: Oh, what? That's what I thought. Shut up.
[Frank cocks the gun]
Peppers: Hey, hey. Careful with that. That's the most powerful tranq gun on the market. Got her in Mexico.
Frank: Cool.
Peppers: Yeah, it is cool. They say it can puncture the skin of a rhino from...
Frank: [Frank shoots himself in the neck with the dart]
Peppers: YES! That's awesome!
Frank: What?
Peppers: You just took one in the jugular, man.
Frank: What? I did.
[feeling his neck]
Peppers: YES!
Frank: Oh my god. Is this bad? Is this bad?
Peppers: You better pull that shit out man. That shit is not cool.
Frank: Wait. What? Pull what out?
Peppers: You got a fucking dart in your neck man.
Frank: [laughing] You're... you're crazy man. I like you, but you're crazy.

[Roogle]

"All balls itch! It's a FACT!"

[Roogle]

"I saw this crackhead on my step. So i walked up to this crackhead and said, "Hey crackhead. Get the f*ck off mah step". - Leon