Be CAREFUL abiut how you change the way you look!
Lillian was a mid-30s stodgily-built woman of matronly mannerisms and plain looks. She had almost no personal life and anything to do with a sex life was but a distant fantasy.
One afternoon at home she suffered a seizure and was rushed to a nearby trauma center. During her stay there, she went into cardiac arrest. And during the three minutes or so that the trauma room staff desperately tried to revive her, she had a near-death experience.
As her being floated effortlessly toward a magnificent beautiful and soothing light at the end of a tunnel, she heard the voice of GOD, himself. “GO BACK,” the voice commanded. “You still have another 50-years of your earthly life!” The light faded and she fell into a 3-day period of unconsciousness.
As she awoke in her hospital room surrounded by medical staff and her family, she told them about her near-death experience, vowing to change her life and enjoy the 50-years God had promised her.
Once home, she began of program of daily exercise and good diet. Within 8-months she had trimmed 25-pounds from her overweight body. She then began tapping her life savings to pay for a tummy-tuck, buttocks and breast augmentation surgery, a nose job, and a facelift.
At the end of another 8-months, after her full recovery from all the surgeries, she spent more money on a new hairdo and a completely new and EVER sexy wardrobe.
Almost to the day, 16-months after her life-changing near-death experience, Lillian was a NEW woman, a head-turning knockout full of self-confidence and looking forward to a rewarding new future.
A few nights later she pulled into her driveway as lighting flashed and thunder cracked nearby. She trotted quickly toward her front door before the rain came. But, at about the halfway point, a bolt of lightning struck her… DEAD!
As she found herself standing before God’s Throne of Judgment, all she could muster was a wailing “WHY AM I HERE? YOU TOLD ME I HAD ANOTHER 50-YEARS OF LIFE LEFT!” To which God, after doing a double-take, exclaimed; “I’m SO sorry; I DIDN’T EVEN RECOGNIZE YOU!”
Drinking under a different name is not the same thing as joining Alcoholics Anonymous.