Kids say the darndest things!!!!!

[Tracy]

I'm sure all of us have stories about our kids saying something very funny and/or very embarrassing and thought this would be a great place to share!!!!

[Tracy]

Ok, I'll start....

Yesterday I took off from work because I had a very busy day. It started with me having to take my son to the urologist because we thought he had a problem with his penis (I wouldn't normally share this, but you'll understand why in a minute) and ended with my whole family attending a reception at Matthew Denn's office (the Lieutenant Governer). My daughter just won an award for a watercolor she did of a ladybug (the official bug of the state of Delaware).

Anyway....we went to the doctor's office and my son was fine...

cut to the reception....

Matthew Denn was VERY nice. He made it a point to go up to each child, take them to their picture, ask them about the picture, pose for photographs, etc. My son is four. One of the categories was PreK. Mr. Denn must have thought that he was one of the winners. He walks up to D and this is their conversation:

MD (Matthew Denn): Why hello...did you paint a picture here today?
D (my son): No, I'm here for my sister
MD: Well, that's nice of you and that's a lovely sticker you have on your hand.
D: I got it at the doctor today.
MD: Well, I hope everything is ok.
D: I'm fine. The doctor wanted to look at my penis.
MD (shocked look): Oh, well I hope everything works out ok with that.
D: (as he attempts to pull down his pants): It's fine...you wanna see?

Secret Service Agents: (not knowing what the hell to do)

[wendy]

THAT is priceless!!! OMG! That is PRICELESS!!!!

[Sugr]

Niice and so typical.

My youngest (3) and I had been talking about mamas carrying babies in their bellies. Later we were on the deck with my grandmother. She was sweet talking her 6lb yorkie-poo. You know "whos my little baby" etc. So tiny girl asks her, " Did you have Alle in your belly?" I thought Mom-mom was going to fall out of her chair, she was laughing so hard. She loves to retell that story.

[Missy]

Lmao

[M.Bush]

My mom told me when I was a youngster, she had me at the grocery store and it was very noisy....


"It's f**king loud in here"..

That's when the potty mouth started..

[Summerrain]

At Christmas time, my nephew was coming out of the shower. He had just his undies on. My husband told him that he shouldn't wear tighty-whities because his thing wouldn't grow...

My nephew didn't skip a beat: "Uh-uh!!! Daddy wears tighty-whities and his thing is THIS BIG!" As he does the hand motions to indicate that his dad has an entire tree log in his pants...

Tony will tell that story for a long time.

[DEMOA]

I submitted this story when I was in the Spotlight on a DE Mom article back in January...but I just had to share again.

"I remember taking my son to a Delaware Mom's Morning Out at a story time at Barnes and Noble soon after we participated in the National Guard's Plane Pull charity event.
It happened to be around Mother's Day and the employee was reading mom-related stories to the children. She was reading something about, "my mommy works at a doctor's office.... my mommy fixes things....etc."

Then she reads, "my mommy flies a plane" and my son stood up and yelled, "My mommy PULLS planes!". "

[terri]

I posted these on my blog forever ago -- some of my favorites.

I just shooed J and R (a visiting friend) outside because they were annoying P. Previously, I had been watching 2 squirrels running up and down the tree and all around the yard. As I was sending them out, I said, “If you see the squirrels, make sure you leave them alone and don’t go near them.”
J immediately says, “Yeah, especially if they have herpes!”
It took me a minute to realize that he meant RABIES… but I eventually stopped laughing long enough to correct him.
I asked him, “Where did you hear the word ‘herpes’?”
“From a Little House on the Prairie episode,” he says.
Must have been one of those very special episodes, huh? lol Upon further inquiry, I learn that he was remembering the episode where Laura adopts a raccoon and they have a rabies scare.
The best we can figure is that he heard the word herpes from one of the drug ads on TV and mixed it up. At least - I hope that’s what happened!

And this one:

J brought me flowers for Mother’s Day that he picked out himself. Even better than the flowers was his enthusiasm. He came into my room and announced, “Hey mom, guess what! The flowers that I gave you have flowers whose colors haven’t even seen the Earth yet. They’re baby flowers!”

And this makes me LOL. He's definitely mine.

Woke up this morning to discover that J had dragged a push pin through the brand new, $100 bulletin board we mounted in our hallway. It’s the one I wanted since we moved in and waited until I had a kick-ass coupon and it was on sale… then had to wait a month for my dh to hang it. Anyway - three grooves going all the way down. Needless to say, I was angry and he couldn’t tell me why he did it, so I made him stand there and look at it until he was inspired enough to come up with a reason. This is what I got:
“My body is made up of different parts. One part wanders and does stuff without telling my brain it’s doing stuff. One part doesn’t wander, but it wants to be bad all the time. The third part is the one that wants to be good all the time. I think the wandering part and the one that wants to be bad all the time were working together.”

[Clocker29]

My 3 year old loves to play games on the computer. His favorites are pbskids.org, playhousedisney.com, and nickjr.com. One day he said, "lets try a new game. Lets go to diaperchange.com/poopy." he actually said the "slash poopy".

He made that up in his head and I could not stop laughing.


One day he told me "I want to vacuum all your bones out so you fall to the floor".

[Naomi]

last night Caesar said
oh thats right
never mind

[mastiffmom]

We are shopping in Costco, years ago. DD, now 8 was an infant and DS1 was about 5. We finish our shopping and then go to get some hot dogs for lunch. We are finishing up and DS1 has to use the bathroom. DH takes him while I clean up and sit with DD.

DH comes back with DS1 and very quickly says "LET'S GO!!" I ask why but he won't answer (did he rob Costco? What's the rush?). We get to the car and he tells me:

DH and DS1 are in the mens room at Costco. DS1 is in the stall with DH and a man comes into another stall. He is doing his business and very loudly farts. DS1, remembering what he is told from him mom says very loudly "WHAT DO YOU SAY??". The man very sheepishly says "Sorry".

That's when they hoofed it out of the bathroom. I laughed all the way home.

[Decent]

We were in a restaurant when my kids were little and I ordered something, I can't remember what, and I couldn't eat it, because I'd just gotten my full top plates (bit the wheel in an accident, lost nearly all my top teeth, insurance wouldn't pay for implants, caps etc).

I made the mistake of saying I couldn't chew it and was trying to figure out how to send it back as I called the waiter over. My youngest son, who was 4 at the time, figured it out before I did and said "She just got false teeth and she can't chew it up.".

I was pretty much speechless, totally mortified. The waiter smiled, the kind of smile that said "I'd rather be laughing" and said, "We'll just say it didn't taste right." I couldn't even speak to tell him what I wanted instead so my youngest said "Cheese sticks" which were his favorite, I nodded, and the waiter left.

See, at one time in his life, he WAS an honest kid, lol.

[Sugr]

This weekend I showed the kids cicada skins again. I showed them last year but I don't think I called them that. I told them we could look for more in the yard when we got home. My son was so excited and couldn't wait to tell my grandmother that we were going to go look for potato skins. It's still stuck in his head that way.

[Chase]

we didnt have power last night...the little one was running around screaming and banging her fist

"WE NEED POWA" "WE NEED POWA"

she was freaking out.

[Decent]

we didnt have power last night...the little one was running around screaming and banging her fist

"WE NEED POWA" "WE NEED POWA"

she was freaking out.

Awwww! That's so cute!!! Poor thing, I hope she wasnt too scared.

[Chase]

actually she was scared shitless, so we took the kids to my moms, and they were fine then...


i think this is the first time my little one has had no power so it was weird for her, and it was dark.

[Decent]

actually she was scared shitless, so we took the kids to my moms, and they were fine then...


i think this is the first time my little one has had no power so it was weird for her, and it was dark.

Aww, my gosh I'm glad you went someplace else fo her, it had to be terrifying. Poor little thing.

[frogman68]

I remember when my kids were about 5 and 7 took them (with my 8 yr old niece ) to a pizzeria I went to the counter to order a cop walks in and as he walks past the table my daughter yells Shhhhhhhhhhs the pigs are here needless to say the cop watched us the whole time (still not sure where she got it from)

[Decent]

I remember when my kids were about 5 and 7 took them (with my 8 yr old niece ) to a pizzeria I went to the counter to order a cop walks in and as he walks past the table my daughter yells Shhhhhhhhhhs the pigs are here needless to say the cop watched us the whole time (still not sure where she got it from)

LOL! That's hilarious!

1.) What she said

And

2.) That you can remember back that far.