What do you miss the most in the world?

Awwww, you GUYS!

It's so hard not having people you love in your life anymore. So hard.

As you all know, I got married at the end of April. The day before, in the midst of all my crazy running around, trying to find a dress for the rehearsal, completing all the last minute phone calls, and trying not to barf out of sheer nervousness, I was suddenly compelled to drive up to Centreville and past my Grandparents old house.

They haven't lived there since late 2003, when their combined dementia and Alzheimer's got to be too much and they weren't able to take care of themselves. My Grandfather passed away in September of 2006, days after my husband and I moved in together and I started graduate school. My Grandmother still lives in assisted living, but can no longer walk, talk, or remember who I am.

I was extremely close to them both, and not a day goes by that I don't think about them and feel the loss of not having them in my life.

That day before my wedding, I was twenty minutes late arriving home for the rehearsal, because I parked my car in front of their old house, put on Louie Armstrong's "What A Wonderful World" (our song for as long as I can remember), and bawled my eyes out.

Despite the fact that they were always older (my Grandpa was in his mid-30s when my Mom was born), I never seemed to consider their vincibility. They were just larger than life, and in my mind they would be there when I walked down the aisle.

I can still remember everything about them. My Grandfather's voice, the way the carpet in their living room felt under my bare feet, all the conversations we had about the future. I feel guilty for all the times I could have spent with them and instead chose to do something else. I wish I knew then how much it would hurt not to experience all of those things.

Last week I was in the middle of Boscovs and I smelled a Yankee Candle that for whatever reason smelled exactly like their house. Like their soap and my Grandmother's perfume and their food and flowers. I lost it.

I don't know when, if ever, I'll stop missing them like crazy. Maybe those department store tear-fests will cease over time, but there is just this huge loss, and I have no clue how to make that go away.

The fact that my children will never know them. I think that hurts the most.

Now I'm sitting here, again listening to Louie Armstrong, again bawling my eyes out.

__________________
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
--Eleanor Roosevelt

I was very close to my father's mother. When I was younger my grandparents watched me while my parents worked. My grandfather passed in 99. That was the first funeral I ever went to. His wife died in 9/02 and then my other grandmother passed 2/03. My grandmothers died less than 6 months apart and that was so hard. My grandfather isn't the same without her. I talk to him quite a bit (he lives 6 hours away) and alot of times he tells me that he's ready to go be with her. It was hard when I got married because he was still hurting so bad. I had my dad and my grandfather walk me down the aisle and my dance with my father was with my dad and my grandpa. At the end of my wedding night, I gave my grandpa my bouquet and asked that he take it home with him and put it at my grandmothers grave, he cried and thought that was the sweetest thing. I carried white and pink roses in memory of both my grandmothers.

Ok, I think i've rambled on enough. This thread and everyone's responses has tears streaming down my face. If it wasn't so late I would call my grandfather and tell him I love him cause you just never know how long they will be there.

__________________
We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. -Sir Winston Churchill

I miss my grandparents, but in my family we keep them alive by talking about them endlessly. I miss my friend Kevin who died at a very young age and very unexpectedly. He was the one I never got to say good-bye to and we sadly left things on rough terms. That's was a hard one to accept.

Beyond people, I miss my youth. Not that I would EVER want to go back to my teens or 20's, maybe not even early 30's...but I miss not having the luxury of thinking that I have all the time in the world to figure things out and do what I want/need to do. That's kind of sobering.

__________________
W~

"The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists intact is to realize that two out of three ain't bad..." FOB

I miss:
Being able to ride a bicycle without a helmet
Going through airport security without having to strip naked
Living in north Wilmington and seeing farms with cows grazing (all houses now).
Being young and having nothing to loose.
Eating ANYTHING I wanted with no repercussions.
School's out for the Summer.
And of course family/friends who have passed away.

I did not mean to get everyone all snuffly and such. My Mother died in April and her Birthday was last month and Mother's day and all, she has been on my mind more than 10 times a day.
She was the youngest of 7 children and the last to pass. They all died young of polo cystic kidney disease. My last Grandparent passed when I was 16 now all my aunts and uncles are gone too. At 38 I had no one left but my Brother and Sister. So as far as family goes there is Hope and a brother and sister. Thats it. And you wonder why we have so many cats, they are our family

__________________

www.photographybynaomi.net
www.cometomywindow.net
www.theadventuresoflittlecaesar.com

I just saw cows (and their babies) grazing yesterday! Off Grubb road...heading up toward Target.

WARNING: Someone who cares about me is well trained in the use of their weapon and accurate at 800 meters.

This is me.

If you ever meet someone who claims to have found The Truth or True Enlightenment... run like hell!