Booze: 10 Best Things

Panama Girl · #11 07-22-2008, 04:57 PM

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
Dorothy Parker

Song by Randy Hanzlick

Jimmy and I were brothers.
We went down different paths.
Jimmy always listened to my mother,
And me, I never like to take a bath.

As we grew and tumbled through adulthood
The pressure caused emotional drain.
So now I'm slowly dying in the bottle
and Jimmy has to live with half a brain.

Yes, me, I've got a bottle in front of me,
And Jimmy has a frontal lobotomy.
Just different ways to kill the pain the same.

But I'd rather have a bottle in front of me,
Than have to have a frontal lobotomy.
I might be drunk, but at least I'm not insane.

Jimmy let his troubles drive him crazy.
He never tried to drown it in a drink.
I know that drinking makes my thinking hazy,
But at least I still have brains enough to think.

Jimmy's got a brain that isn't stable.
He doesn't have the sense to say his name.
I'm sorry that his doctor was unable
To remove the proper portion of his brain.

Yes, me, I've got a bottle in front of me,
And Jimmy has a frontal lobotomy.
Just different ways to kill the pain the same.

But I'd rather have a bottle in front of me,
Than have to have a frontal lobotomy.
I might be drunk, but at least I'm not insane.

Funny how the world works.
People can be real jerks.
Some prefer the tension over booze.

Either way it ends the same.
Hard to beat the living game.
Might as well enjoy it while you lose.

When I need a drink I start to shiver
And Jimmy always viewed it with concern.
But I'd rather have cirrhosis of the liver
Than an intellect that's second to a fern.

I wonder if old Jimmy's gonna hear it
When I tell him that his logic wasn't sound.
They'll dose him up on lots of evil spirits
When they take him to the psychiatric grounds.

Yes, me, I've got a bottle in front of me,
And Jimmy has a frontal lobotomy.
Just different ways to kill the pain the same.

But I'd rather have a bottle in front of me,
Than have to have a frontal lobotomy.
I might be drunk, but at least I'm not insane.
I might be drunk, but at least I'm not insane!

tarkus1 · #12 07-22-2008, 11:13 PM

I've had a subscription to Modern Drunkard Magazine for about 3 years now. There are great and educational articles such as "How to ace an intervention". We keep them on our coffee table to horrify our occasional sober guest.