Parenting Help?

I don't have kids, so take this with a grain of salt...

It sounds almost like he's challenging you to punish him. Pretending not to care what the consequences are, refusing to comply. It's like he wants to push you to see how far you'll go.

Sort of like the whole "Thank you, sir. May I have another?" mentality.

Sounds kind of like my brother when he was younger. Every Sunday we would ride up to my Grandparents house in Greenville for dinner. My Mom had a station wagon, and my brother got in the habit of unbuckling himself and trying to get in the back part of the wagon- not just on the ride to Greenville, but all the time.

My Dad would pull over and my Mom would have to get out of the car, on the side of the Interstate, and get him back in his seat.

One day on the way up, we drove past Ferris School for Boys and Mom told my brother that bad little boys went to Ferris, and didn't get until they behaved.

The next week, sure enough, my brother started to unbuckle himself in the car. Without saying a word, my parents pulled off the highway and drove straight down Faulkland Road to Ferris. As they pulled in the gates and started up the drive, my brother realized where he was and started to get upset, crying and begging my parents not to leave him in the "bad boys home."

My Mom asked if he was ready to sit in his seat, buckled in the car from now on, and he swore he was. They hugged, and we went along our way.

From that point forward, he remained seated.

My parents never threatened him, they never said they would leave him there, they never raised their voices or hand. But the possibility of it was enough.

My parents were not spankers, and neither my brother or I were ever hit. However, there was the fear of being spanked to keep us in check. In college, my Dad was in Theta Chi fraternity, and had a pledge paddle signed by his initiates. It sat in our hall closet for YEARS, and when things got back enough, all Mom or Dad needed to say was "Do I need to get the Theta Chi paddle?"

Worth a try!

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No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
--Eleanor Roosevelt

Well, granted... my fiancee's Dad was a.. um.... well a pr--k. But it was still disobedience when he told her to clean her room and she refused....

One thing I've noticed with today's kids compared to when I was a kid:

Kids nowadays don't have the respect for (or the fear of) their parents like I did. I never thought of being bad for fear of the wrath or punishment I got. And I didn't even get a beating or anything. I got stuff taken away from me, or I'd have to sit still for 10 minutes....

I think parents are afraid to punish their kids anymore. It's like the kids know they can call the cops on their own parents and have them arrested for child abuse or something.

This country is messed up.

__________________
Dave

“A person has the right to keep and bear arms for the defense of self, family, home and State, and for hunting and recreational use.” [Delaware Constitution, Article I, § 20 Right to keep and bear arms]

I also was of the "I really REALLY don't want to clean my room" mentality. My mom chose her battles wisely, so the compromise was it's your room, close the door so I don't have to look at it, and it can NOT spill into any public areas of the house. As a downside, my parents would no long enter my room to get clothes to wash, so it became my responsiblity/my choice.

I have also heard of parents taking away all items in the room except the bed, although not throwing everything away. Just storing in the attic/basement to be earned back through choosing to follow the desired action.

I've also heard of removing bedroom doors, as privacy is a courtesy/privelege that needs to be earned when courtesy/respect is shown.

I have no idea if this will really work...obviously you would be the expert for your own kids.

Kudos for the patience, follow through and sticking it out...that seems to be the biggest and hardest job in our parenting!