My Son and His Amazingly STUPID Decision

Decent · #1 02-28-2008, 07:50 PM

Ya know what I like about this forum? I like the fact that people here arent judgemental. Nobody flames, nobody insults, people just give their opinions or advice in the most civil way possible. I also like the the 'anonimity' and being able to discuss things with people without having to see their expressions or listen to their initial reaction, making me feel like crap without really meaning to.

That said.......

My son, the youngest, the one who lives with me, is now facing 19 felonies, including 16 counts of breaking and entering, 1 count of consiparacy, 2 counts of theft under $1,000. He managed to commit these felonies all in the space of one night and at the same place.

I've talked about my son here before, he's good kid most of the time. He's respectful, helpful, I still get compliments all the time on how well behaved he is and how so unlike most disrespectful and demanding teenagers are. The only trouble he's been in is the time he was taken to the police station for spray painting DIRT.

This particular night, he was staying at his best friends house, and they decided to go to another friends house which theyve done many times before without incident. The 2nd friend had a party, at which the best friend began getting drunk, (footnote - I've known ALL these kids for nearly a decade and would NEVER have suspected behavior like this). My son didn't want to drink so he decided to leave and walk home. We live about 3 blocks from the 2nd friends houise. Another kid, I'll call 3rd friend, didnt want to drink either, so he started walking home with my son to stay at our house for the night.

On the way home, they had to pass some storage units. I'm not sure who talked whom into what, my son says it was a mutual decision, but when they noticed a couple of them open, they decided to go in and look around. Then, upon finding things like an electric guitar, an amp, a large jar of quarters, they decided to do more than just 'explore'. They wound up all in all going in and out of 16 unlocked storage unitsw, and stealing the things listed above. When they saw the police they stashed the stuff outside an amusement area, went over the fence of the amusement area and got away. The police discovered the stolen property and left it there, waiting to see if the burglars would be STUPID enough to come back and get it, knowing they'd already been almost caught. They were.

I'm in shock, but I have other empotions that may not be as acceptable or understandable. Main thing, I dont feel guilty. I'm not sitting here saying "If only I had taught him better." "If only this...If only that...". I know I've been a GREAT Mom and I've raised him VERY well. I have no doubts whatsoever about my own abilities as a parent. I also don't feel sympathy, and this is my own son! I'm really trying to look deep inside and come up with just a little bit, but...nothing. I can't afford a lawyer, and even if I could, I'm not sure I'd hire one.

I do however, feel fear over what will happen to him. I have no idea if he'll get a slap on the wrist or jail time. I dont know if he'll be charged as a child or an adult, I dont know if he'll get a judge who's sick to death of teenage crime and decides to make an example out of him. I have NO idea what's going to happen.

It really doesnt bother me to say all this here, I'm not one of those kinds of people who worries about 'image' etc. I need friends right now, advice, opinions, etc etc. Even constructive critisism would be welcome.

Anyway, that's the story of my sons' STUPID decision. Just to let you know where it is right now, we havent gotten a letter from the court yet with his initial date where they decide to try him as an adult or child. So it's still all up in the air.

Chase · #2 02-28-2008, 07:57 PM

Kids do dumb things, i know i have done worse then this, belieevvee me......

ANYWAY

are you sure those are felonies? i wouldn't think they are but i never got caught so i dont know. I would love to think he will prolly get a slap on the wrist but I really don't >know< of course.

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Decent · #3 02-28-2008, 08:02 PM

Thanks Chase. And yes, on the arrest report they are all listed as felonies.

Chase · #4 02-28-2008, 08:16 PM

Moved the Dane cook stuff to its own thread in fun and games. this is a heavy thread, lets stay on topic.

(not saying anyone did wrong, just customary cleanup, didnt want to let it spiral off topic)

Panama Girl · #5 02-28-2008, 08:17 PM

He's old enough to know what's right, so he had better face up to the consequences.

I suggest he go for a plea bargain and community service.

Pythoness · #6 02-28-2008, 08:19 PM

Whatever happened with the spray painting in dirt, Decent?

On paper, this doesn't make him look good. That's 2 runs-in with the police (one of them very serious) in less than 6 months.

That generally makes judges take notice.

FunHater · #7 02-28-2008, 08:24 PM

theft under $1,000 is not a felony. I hope you have a really good lawyer, and a forgiving judge. He may (depending on what's available to him) want to plead some of the charges down. Taking 16 counts of criminal trespassing would be a whole lot better than getting the full 16 burglary charges. I really hope he's learned something, because this is likely to stick with him for a long time. I don't mean to be any more disheartening but I want you to be fully aware of what might happen. How old is he? If he were an adult he would be looking at a possibility of 18 - 91 years in prison, and up to a $2,500 fine, and in the state of Delaware he would have to serve at least 85% of his sentence. Now by no means is he going to get that, chances are they will commute some crimes down to lesser ones and he will be put on level 4 probation (house arrest, or Ferris School for Boys) for a while and he will have to pay a hefty fine, plus community service. I hope that helps you put the picture together for him (if he hasn't already realized how serious this is).

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Last edited by FunHater; 02-28-2008 at 08:42 PM..

Roogle · #8 02-28-2008, 08:27 PM

Well it sucks you have to go through that. As parents. We try to keep them out of bonds like this. But alas. We have to help them clean up there mess. He's a teen. These are the toughest years for parents, since we cant' watch them all the time. Yet they still have a lot to learn about the real world.

The best he can do is plead. If the judge shows compassion. Those felonies can be lifted after he turns 18. But i think the judge has power over if the felonies can be smudged off at adulthood. Like FH said, the judge could switch the charges to lesser ones.

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Decent · #9 02-28-2008, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pythoness

Whatever happened with the spray painting in dirt, Decent?

On paper, this doesn't make him look good. That's 2 runs-in with the police (one of them very serious) in less than 6 months.

That generally makes judges take notice.

Nothing happened with that. The construction company said they didnt want to press charges, and I can only assume they laughing their asses off at the time. So there isnt anything on his actual 'record' as of right now except for this.

Decent · #10 02-28-2008, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FunHater

theft under $1,000 is not a felony. I hope you have a really good lawyer, and a forgiving judge. He may (depending on what's available to him) want to plead some of the charges down. Taking 16 counts of criminal trespassing would be a whole lot better then getting the full 16 burglary charges. I really hope he's learned something, because this is likely to stick with him for a long time. I don't mean to be any more disheartening but I want you to be fully aware of what might happen. How old is he?

He's 16. I'm not sure why, but they are really all listed as felonies.

My Son and His Amazingly STUPID Decision

Family & Schools