My son who is normally an 'A' student is all of sudden getting C's! He just started middle school so I'm hoping that it's just the transition and adjustment that he needs to over come.

So my question is what do we do as parents when he brings home is report card this afternoon? Our first instinct and what we already told him, was that everything electronic will be taken away from him i.e., phone, ipod, Gameboy DS and the Xbos & Wii video games.

But in all honestly, is that really going to work? Anyone going through this or have been through it with 'tweens!

When I was his age I was all A's & B's and my parents never had to punish me or threaten to punish me so I can't go by what happened to me if it will work or not. You think when they are babies that it's so hard to deal with them, then the hormones start kicking in!! Oy!

Don't take anything away yet. Talk with him first. "you usually get A's and B's, is everything alright?"
If he gets an attitude, kick his ass. jk
Talk with him first. Good luck.

Parent-Teacher conference, right away. Find out what's going on as far as the teachers are concerned. Talking too much, too distracted, or do the teachers seem to be too frazzled to give the attention needed, or is it a problem of not 'getting' things. Thats the first step, it'll provide you a lot more information so you'll know what to do next.

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The only way to bring about change is to actively strive to achieve it. - (7-24-09, Witchofthedogs)

I agree with Curly and Decent. Talk is the first step.

Talk with your kid and talk with your kid's teachers.

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TalkPa.net - Pennsylvania's Forum

With all due respect Decent, slow down. Going to the teachers first without talking to the kid first will only damage future communication with her son. IMO. Besides, what worked for you won't necessarily work for TF. No offense ladies, but when a boy gets to a certain age, he more apt to talk with Dad than Mom. (puberty, girls, fights etc.) Again, this is just from my experience and in no way is meant to deter your involvement or make light of your input.

I have a good relationship with his homeroom teacher who also is the teacher where he is getting the C. We have been in contact since interim grades were released and I first saw the C. (He had other lower grades but did correct them before the end of the marking period.)

Most of the problem is coming from him not handing in his work. Which is amazing to me because he can do the work and does the work but then doesn't hand it in. I read his agenda as much as I can and I ask every day - did you do all your homework? Do you have any tests to study for? Any projects due?, etc., etc.

I can't hold his hand forever, he has to learn to be independent and follow through on his assignments. It will only get harder as he advances in school. I take a very 'hands off' approach to their school work. I will help them but I won't do it for them.

Some part of me says that he needs to fail in order to learn but on the other hand I want him to do the work that he is capable of. Does that make sense?

Where's the 'parent handbook' for all this crap??!!

I see your point Curly. He does hold his father higher on the pecking order than me!!
I brought his teacher into the loop because after repeated attempts by me to get him to talk to his teacher I finally had to get involved. I did give him the chance to correct it first.

I think I will talk to my husband later and let him handle the 'talk' later when he gets home.

Maybe the class and class work is not interesting him. Maybe he is not challenged and therefore just bored. It is possible that the cirriculum is below his intellect or even his learning style.

Or it could be outside influences. Like Curly mentioned, there could be other things that he is thinking about.

Maybe you could have another family member that he is comfortable with talk to him. He might open up more with a grandparent, cousin, uncle, etc....

Sounds to me that you're doing everything just fine. Strap in, the roller coaster ride has just begun.

Make sure you tell him that "girls/women" will always be messing his life up in one way or another.

GL he did test on a much higher reading level than his grade. I've had to deal with this for the past couple of years now. He basically read out the library in 5th grade!! But he also is above grade level in math and getting all A's in that subject. So there is an issue, it's just finding what IT is, is the problem.

I also feel that he needs to have some consequence for getting the C when we obviously know that he can do better.

That's a good idea! I'll have him call my mom later and tell her what he got on his report card. I'll set it up with her before hand to ask some probing questions.

We did have a bullying issue that continued for about a month or two but that is finally over - at least we hope!

He needs to know the consequences first before you react. You need to let him know that if he brings home a C then he will lose the TV for a week.

It will not have the same impact. He will have to know first what will happen. Cause and effect.

Just punishing him now, without first letting him know what would've happened is not effective.

Excuse me!!! Who gave birth to him?? A woman!! I rest my case....................

He does know. We spoke to him when interim grades came out and I first saw the C. I'll have to talk to my husband and figure out what we are going to take away and for how long. I'll let him tell him when he gets home from work. They can go talk privately.

As a kid, the words "wait till your father gets home" struck fear and dread in my heart.

I use hot sauce.

I've told them - you ain't learning until you're burning.

Now all I have to do is walk to the cabinet where I keep my hot sauces and behavior changes

Hot sauce won't work here, my son loves it!! LOL But green beans may!!!

Calm down first. I have been there and done this with DS1. We went from honor roll last year (6th grade) on the first report card to a D (which don't stand for dandy).

I think part of it lies with the fact that they are no longer micromanaged by the teachers (other parents have also felt this is the case). The kids don't understand that the missed homework results in the zero and that's hard to fix in the grand scheme of the grade.

DS1 got a B- in math this term. He did not turn in a homework assignment and that resulted in a zero. I showed it to him immediately and he lost his xbox for the week for not turning in the homework. I explained to him how that zero factors in the average and how hard it is to bring it back up again. He struggled the entire term, busting his butt on homework and test grades to try to bring up that grade. He finally ended up with a B- but I think he learned his lesson.

I have used "electronic grounding" with good results. The D report card resulted in electronic grounding, during the school week, anything with a plug was restricted to 1 hour a school day (only after homework is done). It did work and the threat is constant and he knows that. Taking away things completely is difficult to maintain but strictly limiting use is easier to maintain and control.

Elementary school to middle school is a huge adjustment. He will be alright, this just might have been the lesson he needed.