yeah....my titties are actually quite warm

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GO WAHOOS!

Contrary to popular belief, mine are quite warm...

I hope you shit the bed and it's runny so you can't kick it out.

Never heard that one did you?

Have you heard the euphamism about angry monkeys throwing squishy brown bananas out of the tree?

I was at work one day back at mo old office and I was up front chatting with receptionist and one of the female agents. This chick walks in wearing a very very low cut blouse. The problem was though, she had dark blue veins and stretch marks on her boobs, it just looked nasty. She asked for directions someplace and when she left the agent said "dear God." the receptionist said "That looked awful." and I said "Holy shit, if it dont look good, dont stick it out on the front porch".

In 21 years I have never comprehended, "oh for pete's sakes!". Who the fuck is pete? Why is it for his sake? What the hell does that even MEAN?

From Re: Origin of phrase

: : What is the origin/menaing For Pete's Sake?

: From the archives:

: Biblical origins. Think of St Peter. Think of the omnipresent medieval church and think of hitting your thumb with a hammer. You can't swear, else the local priests will have you up before the Bishop and the Lord alone knows what the outcome of that will be, so you exclaim, in appropriate tone of voice, "For Saint Peter's sake" and carry on erecting the shelves. This phrase was amended to "For Pete's Sake" in later, less religiously oppressive, times.

: This is called a "Minced oath," a substitution of a less offensive word.

FOR PETE'S SAKE - The phrase is simply a polite version of a common and profane expression involving the name of Christ. We'd surmise that the original 'Pete' was St. Peter." From "Morris Dictionary of Word and Phrase Origins" by William and Mary Morris. Substituting less offensive words - like Godfrey Daniel for the other GD - is called a minced oath.

Reps to my Granny for this one:



"You can stretch a ducks neck all you want, but it aint never gonna be no swan."

When I was growing up, my mom used to say this daily when we would complain about something:

"If you don't like it, lump it."

I've tried to look up the origins of this, but haven't had any luck.

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Fold your own damn socks!

What I found was this:

: Eric Partridge's "Dictionary of Catch Phrases" has an entry for this one, together with ". . . you may do the other thing": "'If you don't like it, you'll just have to put up with it.' The two recorded forms date from at least as early as c. 1860. . . . Dickens, 1864, 'If you don't like it, it's open to you to lump it.' The 'lump' version was adopted from the US, where it had been current for at least a generation. There is--inevitably--an earthier version: it is 'if you don't like it, you can stick it up your arse' . . . which arose prob. c. 1890, or poss. even c. 1860."

: Turning now to the Oxford English Dictionary to find out whether "lump" has ever been a verb that means "to stick something up one's arse," I find that the relevant sense of "lump" has nothing to do with inserting objects into orifices. The definition has two parts:

: LUMP, v. [Of symbolic sound; cf. DUMP, GLUMP, GRUMP, HUMP, MUMP.]
: 1. intr. To look sulky or disagreeable . . .
: [Quotation:] 1577 "They stand lumping and lowring . . . for that they imagine that their evill lucke proceedeth of him."
: 2. trans. In antithesis with "like": To be displeased at (something that must be endured), colloq.
: [Quotations:] 1833 "Let 'em lump it if they don't like it." . . . 1878 "I'll buy clothes as I see fit, and if anybody don't like it, why they may lump it, that's all."


(http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/10/messages/640.html)

That doesn't really help, but it does show that the phrase has been around since the late 19th century.

I'm calling my mother. I can't wait to tell her she's been suggesting I stick things up my arse for 33 years.